Wednesday, February 14, 2007

One More Valentine's Post (before Valentine's Day ends!!!)

It's 11:51 and I finally got in touch with my long-distance Valentine. I did not buy anything for him, but I did take the time to write one of my world famous, not so well written poems for him. I decided to post it, just for kicks. I am not claiming that I am a great poet, or even a good one. Not even decent. But every line rhymes! And none of that crap where "again" rhymes with "rain." That always bugged me in highschool English class.


Dearest friend, so far from me

I wish a Happy Valentine’s to thee

I want you to know you’re in my heart

And I truly love you, even when you fart

I still love you when you harass

And yell in public that I get gas

When I buy chocolate or cheese or cream

“That stuff makes you fart!” you scream

Or how ‘bout when you tickle me against my will

I know making me suffer gives you a thrill

Or how bout all those times you make fun of my fat

Or when you should be petting me instead of the cat

It may sound like I’m moaning and complaining

But to ignore your annoyingness would be feigning

But what I want to let you know

Is that despite it all, I love you so

And now, on to the things you do

That make it impossible not to love you

You are sensitive and kind

With a very active mind

So sweet, yet manly and tough

Of you, I just can’t get enough!

The French toast you make is so damn good

And in the morning, you have impressive wood

Your massages are something like heaven

And you know you keep me open like 7-11

But what is most important of all

Is that you’re always there to catch me when I fall

That you taught me to be happy

When I was feeling crappy

You taught me to be strong

And it may have taken long,

But you gave me the self esteem

I needed to follow my dream

So even if I whine that you bug me too much

This is the truth, the truth is such:

I love you with all my heart

And I know it’s tough that we’re apart

But one day it will all work out

And until then, let’s not pout

You’re the greatest friend I could ask for

And I think you’re cute, even when you snore

Thanks for all you’ve done for me

And a Happy Valentine’s Day to thee!

And, there you have it, folks. With utter disregard for iambic pentameter, rhythm, and proper English, I wrote this. It's all true, too.

Now, if you're wondering about the whole "gas" thing (lines 5-7) I am blessed with lactose intolerance, which means if I have too much dairy I feel "uncomfortable." I keep this under control with some nifty pills (hooray for Lactaid).
So, once upon a drunken night, we were at the supermarket and I grabbed a dark chocolate Toblerone (HEAVEN!!!) and Mister Wonderful decided to say loudly, "MARIANA! DON'T BUY THAT! IT MAKES YOU FART!!!" It was funny, embarassing, and frustrating. He kept doing it whenever there were people around. Grr.

Anyway, it's time to go to bed and stuff.

"My name is Cupid Valentino, and I just wanted to say one thing ya'll: Happy Valentine's Day!"
-Andre 3000, The Love Below (amazing album!!!)

1 comment:

the horse lover (j/k) said...

I think you mean andre 3000 you dork.