Wrecklessness Withdrawal Syndrome.
My life has gone from party-hearty to BOOOOORRRRIIINNNGGGG.
For example, this is how my weekend has progressed:
Friday night: Started writing the notes for class. Made a necklace. Went to bed.
Saturday: Woke up at 9:30. Ate breakfast. Went to pick up a box sent from mom and dad. Talked on the phone a bit. Finished notes for class. Ate lunch. Filled out two medical school applications. Chatted online. Sat here in my apartment, with the windows open, listening to people yelling at a house party nearby. Realized there was something really odd about this picture....
I should be at some house party, partying it up! But I'm not.
It's Saturday night, and I'm home. I was home all day. That was unheard of in Miami. It's okay, this is my new life. Study hard. Study on the weekends. Study study study. It's a huge change, but I can handle it. I was built with a study hard engine, I just never went past "cram before test" mode.
What's not so cool: I'm thinking, this is only the beginning. After this, if all works out, I'll be in medical school. Medical school, that aint no joke. How much "free time" will I have? How much studying will I do? Then comes residency, roughly 100 hours a week of work. Then my career and marriage and children and wrinkles and menopause and osteoperosis and.............
Okay, the point is, will I ever party like a rockstar again? I mean, I know people outgrow that stuff, but, I didn't! Or did I? I didn't even notice!!!!
The medical school students at UM (go canes!) that I know actually party a lot. But, will I go to UM? If so, there is no guarantee that my classmates will be into partying.
Why am I so worried? This is just a side effect. My body and mind are getting used to the whole being responsible thing. It's like a drug withdrawal. I was addicted to irresponsibility. I'm seeing a baby crawling on the ceiling and everything.