That's it... less than 12 hours till showtime.

This exam is sucking the life out of me. There are no nails left to bite, no chocolate left to binge on.

I am worried. Like, I know anxiety is bad, mmkay, but there is a definite cause for alarm. Or at least definite cause to prepare oneself for the possibility that this exam will be difficult and that an A is not likely to happen.

It's not just me freaking out. Everyone is.

Why? Because no matter how many times you read this material, it's still confusing as hell. What happens when you increase potassium conductance, they ask. And you stop, you think, you have your answer, and it makes sense in your head. You reason it out 2 more times. You circle the choice that corresponds to it, and flip to the answer sheet, only to find one of four things:

1) your reasoning was completely flawed, and your answer is incorrect
2) you didn't know about a new twist that was conveniently NOT included in the professor's lecture/class notes/powerpoint, and your answer makes sense but it's not the best one, and so it's incorrect,
3) you mixed up + and -, and- guess what- your answer is incorrect
4) by some miracle, you were right (Very, very rare. Often accompanied by disbelief and a squeal of excitment. Brings about a strong desire to high-five yourself).

What possibly makes it all worse is.... you go back to the same damn questions the next day, and you get some wrong that you had gotten right the day before. And you don't know why. This just makes you realize that you DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE MATERIAL. You're not grasping it. It's like trying to stab spaghetti with a fork. Only worse.

I am not exaggerating. And I'm not the only one. These past few days have been spent sending/receiving frantic instant messages asking... "why is the answer to number 4 D?" and stuff like that. Everyone from the group of classmates I associate with regularly has, at one point today, told me that they are experiencing the same issues with answering questions (see list above).

This is scary. But at least I'm not alone. I can only hope the medical students are suffering this much, because our grading scale is based on their performance...

See what this class is doing to me? It's got me wishing suffering on other people. That's SO not my style.

Go up to ANY doctor and ask him what happens when you increase potassium conductance in a smooth muscle cell. I'll bet he has no clue. WHY MUST THEY TORTURE US THIS WAY!??!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

And to think... if I get into med school I have to take physiology all over again.

Ah! Speaking of getting instant messages... I finally got one today that has nothing to do with the exam. Just one minute ago, my friend Anna decided to IM me with some extremely disturbing images. My question to her is... Was the swelling caused by an increase in osmolarity in the area?

And now it's time to stop blogging and start flogging (myself) because I deserve it for not studying more.