Today we had a class meeting to discuss our end of the year paper and "second year strategy" for those individuals who aren't lucky enough to be accepted into medical school for 2007. During this little speech, I glanced around the classroom in my usual ADD way. Somber looks everywhere. If a stressometer existed, the needle would swing quickly all the way to the maximum value, and probably get stuck there.

It sucks.

So many great people in my program are still waiting to hear back from schools. Others didn't even get interviews. Day in, day out, it's stress, stress, stress!

The annoying part is that so many times, there's no rhyme or reason behind the whole process. Some really qualified, smart, personable people just don't get interviews/acceptances. The opposite goes for some not-so-qualified, not-so-smart people...

Something that lots of people in class have noticed is that WAY more girls have been accepted somewhere than guys. I thought maybe it was a "minority" thing (like in engineering, women get scholarships because there are so few of them, etc), but I'm starting to realize it may be something else; women have the whole "emotional intelligence" aspect on their sides. Interviewers are often looking for someone who is personable, someone who can show empathy. They are looking for an individual who will help patients feel comfortable. And what's more comforting than a mother's care? Who's easier to talk to? Confide in? Who's just oozing "trust me"??? Chicks! (note: Yes, this is a gross overgeneralization. Exceptions definitely exist, as anyone who has ever known women of the "cold hearted bitch" variety can tell you).

Women have the unfair advantage of being equipped to care, or at least they're assumed to be. I remember that in elementary school, most of the teachers were women. And by most, I mean 80-90%. In the ten years between Pre-Kinder and 8th grade, I had one male teacher. Will medicine be this way someday? (I can see my male peers shudder)... Of course not, that's preposterous.

Although this woman-bias has probably helped me a great deal, I cannot say it is completely fair. Yes, empathy is important. But it is by no means sufficient to make a great doctor. Without going into a great deal of detail as to why this female bias, if it does actually exist, is wrong, I'll just say this: getting into medical school is so damn hard and seeing tons great male candidates suffer while some not as great female candidates are getting in makes my stomach turn a little.

BUT, such is life. C'est la vie. Asi es la vida.

The med school admissions process is extremely flawed, no question about it. "Crapshoot" is one of those buzzwords I've heard a million times this year, and I can't deny that it's pretty true.

I don't know if the male/female imbalance exists outside our little torture chamber of a program. But I sure as hell know of lots of other unfair, illogical, crapshoot-esque instances in the admissions process both inside and outside of this program that really stink. It's about who you know, how much you donate, and schmoozing. There are games and there's ass kissing. There are ridiculous quotas. There's lots of other stuff that makes me work out my eye-rolling muscles. But, again, that's life. Just gotta deal with it and try your best to ignore the unfairness and try as hard as possible anyway.

I imagine that when the acceptances from Georgetown arrive in the next couple of weeks, the proverbial poop is going to hit the fan for some people. I don't even want to be around to see it.

There are so many people I am rooting for, and I know it's going to stink if they don't get in this year. I think that not getting in this year is not the worst thing in the world, it's a break before getting in next year. But not too many of my classmates would agree. The application process is truly awful, and having to retake the MCAT is a nightmare. Sigh.

I personally am keeping these stubby digits crossed for an acceptance, also. Staying in DC would make me so happy. I've grown to love this home away from home. The beauty of spring has only made it harder for me to cope with the idea of leaving. Maybe summer will help me change my mind...