I am back. I cannot sleep.

I'm freaking exhausted, and I can't sleep.

Talk about annoying.

And so I'm sitting here, waiting for the teapot to squeal so I can guzzle up the miracle that is sleepy time tea.

AND....the teapot's shrieking already....

So I hit the stumble button a few times on the browser and found a site that has a PDF for Steal This Book... if you haven't heard of it, let my good friend Wiki tell you all about it.

I've read a few pages and so far this thing is hilarious.

Just to quote a few lines from Chapter 7, "Free Medical Care" in a Chapter about birth control clinics, the author writes:

"The rhythm method or Vatican roulette as it is called by hip Catholics, is a waste unless you are ready to surround yourself with thermometers, graphs and charts. You also have to limit your f$%@ing to prescribed days. Even with all these precautions, women have often gotten pregnant using the rhythm method."

"Vatican Roulette!" Pretty amusing, huh? I thought so... Then again, I'm easily amused.

Part of my amusement comes from knowing damn well that Vatican Roulette is about the best way to guarantee unwanted pregnancy. Kinda dumb for such a pro-life group of people, dontcha think?

Anyway, I read some other excerpts, covering the obtainment of free meals and tricks to steal from the supermarket.... Also pretty amusing.

Yes, it's wrong that this dude encouraged stealing and other crimes (the whole book is really about getting stuff for free).

Whatever. It's still really entertaining.

Ok, now that I have chugged this infusion of chammomile, valerian root, and other herbal sleep aids, I will attempt to catch some of those elusive Z's...