My laptop, is FUCKED. There, I said it.

I have to send it back to HP and get a new hard drive, according to my computer nerd brother. Bah humbug. It's barely been 10 months! This is annoying and heartbreaking. I would readily give up my television before I give up my computer. The internet... what a glorious invention. How can I live without it?! Sigh...

In other news... I now officially know where I will be going to medical school. Yes, University of Florida, here I come!!!

I was accepted there on June 15, but I was still waiting on a decision from Georgetown. I would've probably still picked Florida over G-town, but you never know, you know?

The HOYAS did not find me worthy of their over-rated, over-priced, moldy school.

Ok, ok, I'm being a bitter betty. The truth is I probably didn't deserve an interview to begin with. Not because I suck, but because so many other people rock in my program. They put in the hours and got the grades. I also put in the hours, but not nearly as many. And it showed in my grades.

Also, I shouldn't be bitter because I was 80% sure I was going to Florida. The idea of facing such a big decision scared the crap out of me. I hate making decisions.

Enough about that... I'm excited to be a Gator. Yes, Gainesville will be boring, but considering the amount of alcohol I have consumed here in lovely D.C., I believe a calm place with bars that close early is precisely what I need for the next four, career shaping years of my life.

The binge drinking, my goodness! This program drives people to insanity, I swear.

But holy crap what a year it's been. I'm already sad that I have to say good bye to so many awesome people. Monday is our last exam, and then we have a banquet on Wednesday, and that's it. It all went by so quickly!

I am staying in DC till July and I'm hoping to party it up. But before that, I need a break from it all. A break from school, AND a break from partying. Honestly, I made up for 4 years of living at home for undergrad in the past month here.

My self destructive behavior, which happens to be common in physicians, should come to an end once I start med school. It *is* Gainesville, however... that means tons of crazy college parties, accompanied by amazing sports and lots of school spirit. Oh dear.

As it turns out, I have not really studied yet for this exam. This is preposterously terrible. But I can honestly say, for the first time all year, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

Wow that feels great.

It also feels great to curse on my blog, too. I tried to keep it PG just in case med schools somehow could find it. Yes, I'm that paranoid.

And now, it is with great pleasure that I say: Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Big ups to my little bro Danny... He won a medal for being the top math student, and he got a score of 5 out of 5 on his FCAT in math. FCAT = Florida's Comprehensive Assessment Test. It's awful. In high school we had weeks of "FCAT preparation" because apparently, having a high average score for the school was more important than learning.

At any rate, I'm proud of the kid. He's got so much potential! And even though he's in his awkward puberty stage, he is still adorable.

In other news, I held a last minute bake sale yesterday. The thought of it not being successful actually stressed me out (a lot). It's this ridiculous perfectionism that propels me to stress for no good reason. I guess it's kind of a weakness and a strength. I was worried that there wouldn't be enough/too much goods to sell, not enough people would buy the stuff, I wouldn't make much money, it would be time wasted, I didn't have enough help... the list goes on. Actually, it was a LOT of fun. I sold every last crumb. I had good help, and we banked! We made about 140 bucks!!! All proceeds are going toward the purchase of bed nets for children in Kenya; these nets help prevent malaria infection at the time it's most likely to occur (at night).

It feels nice to do stuff like that.

There is officially one week of classes left. Then an exam on June 4th, and a banquet on June 6th. It's friggin' sad, I'm not gonna lie.

Everyone's starting to find out where they will go to med school or IF they will go to med school next year. For some people, it's the most stressed out they've ever been in their lives. I feel terrible for them but these are the things that make us stronger.

I can't help but remember this time last year, I was on my way to Lebanon (or maybe I had just arrived), completely uncertain of what life had in store for me. I had been rejected from med school, and lots of other not so wonderful things were going on. I was completely uncertain about whether or not I really wanted medicine. I got accepted to this Georgetown program and couldn't help but wonder if it would be worth it or not. About $50,0000 later, I can say this has been an amazing year- completely worth it. I am sure I want to go to med school, and I'm happy. Last year there is no way I could've imagined that things would brighten up the way they did.

Speaking of bright, the sun is shining and I want to get outside! I should study or clean the apartment, but "should" is not a fun word, now is it?

The stars have been on the money lately. I read my horoscope almost every day from a couple of different places sometimes; Astrology.com sends me a combined one for Sun, Rising, and Moon signs, I usually grab the free newspaper (Washington Post: Express) and read it there, and every once in a while I hit up MSN or Yahoo, too. I also get a tarot card reading from MSN every now and then.

I guess to the non-astrologically inclined this may seem a bit much. And it probably is. But I don't take it (or myself) seriously, and I don't let things like this guide my life or anything stupid like that. I just use certain things I read to help me learn about myself (oh yeah, cheesy). Some days the horoscope will say "you are likely to be in a firey mood" and I'll totally try to be conscious of that throughout the day. Does it work? Sometimes. Then again, I'm always on fire.

Anywho, lately every horoscope has been pretty accurate. Frighteningly accurate, I'd say. It's just letting me know I am really connected with the universe (geez Louise, more cheesiness!).

I guess I can attribute it to the fact that I'm really content with life as a whole right now. I wish that others around me could be as fortunate, but I have faith that good things will come to them in their due time. This program is freaking crazy, and so many fellow students are struggling with the idea of not getting into medical school this year. It is tough to think that after all this hard work, there's still another year of working somewhere crappy, and reapplying, which involves a lot of time, money, and essays. Damn those essays.

It's certainly time to get ready for school. Ta ta.

What do a walrus and a tupperware have in common.?


They're both looking for a tight seal!


(tee-hee)

I have to thank Arjun for that one.

It's 6 am.

Neuro exam in 3 hours...

This is the scariest exam I've ever faced.

( :-O

I scrolled down a few posts ago, where I mentioned one of the best songs of all time, Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten"

Here are the lyrics... Although they're only half of what makes the song great. The other half = the music itself. Very inspirational sounding and stuff...

Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten Lyrics

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Grrrreat song. Really.

Anyway, right now I'm actually listening to another one of the best songs ever: "Aqueous Transmission" by Incubus... Incredibly calming song.

My apartment smells like a bakery. The oatmeal cookies came out okay... pretty ugly looking but they're tasty. *Borat voice* Great success!!!

A couple of things before I get to cooking and studying:

-NyQuil is amazing, and should be the number one treatment for insomnia (I'm cured, I'm cured!)

-I saw a toddler at the supermarket today, in his little car-shaped shopping cart (those things are nifty!) I waved at him and he smiled and then gushed with laughter and it just made me want a baby. (Yeah, I'm still on that)

-I really want to bake yummy delightful things. And I'm going to. While listening to Neuroscience lectures, of course. This is my first attempt at making cookies from scratch. I'm gonna make some brownies (from a mix) also just in case the cookies are a disaster.

-The baby thing and the cooking thing may indicate a ticking biological clock/the desire to be like my very domestically apt mother, but trust me, I'm not ready to be an adult, let alone have kids. Doesn't change the fact that they're cute... I guess what I really want is the chance to be around babies/toddlers for a little while every week. Is that too much to ask? Maybe I'll become a babysitter...

-I'm not gonna lie, this upcoming exam is frightening. I'm afraid, I'm very afraid.

On that note, that's all for now.

A few things:

-The last episode of The Office was hysterical.

-Tonight's episode of Heroes was (as expected) great

-I really should be sleeping right now, but I can't

-This month is the most insane of all months. Academically, that is.

-Spring is here and it's *so nice*; the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and there are flowers all over the place. And I have to study all week (boo).

-I heard the word "Demerit" today (on The Office). It reminded me of a time when adults could impose silly disciplinary actions like demerits and detentionsn. In highschool it was "CSI." No, not, Crime Scene Investigation, but something else. It was basically indoor suspension. That seems so long ago...

-Avril Lavigne is awesome in so many ways.

-I learned a new word: "procrastibation" (tee-hee)

-I want a baby

-Chai Lattes are probably the best thing that's ever happened to tea

-About the baby, I was just kidding (kind of).

-There are two more exams left in the year. Thank-freakin'-goodness.

-Taking Endocrinology (and almost any med school classes) gets me in total hypochondriac mode. Like, for example, I believe I have some sort of strange condition (overstimulation of the Sympathetics? Hyperthyroidism without the weight loss?) where I'm way too mega hyperactive and it makes me not be able to sleep and then I'm up at some ungodly hour blogging about nothing of particular importance.

Caffeine coursing through my vasculature,
Cortisol all over the place,
this stuff would be more enjoyable to learn
if there weren't an exam to face

(in 6 hours)