Some people are just negative Nancies all the time. Always criticizing. They stink.

You know what I mean, jelly bean?

Come on, you know. That one person who's always got something negative to say, thus revealing his or her unhappiness with him/herself, or with life, or both.

The worst is when they have no clue that they suck so much. The worstest worst are the ones who seem nice, just cause they're soft-spoken and friendly, but they're actually "faking the funk with a nasty dunk" (as my friend Randi used to say). Well, newsflash, they're not nice. Not at all. They're just the way they are because they are spineless. No self esteem. Insecure.

Let me take a moment to point out that at one point in my life, I was an insecure girl with no self esteem. Unhappy with life, with myself, but that's all in the past, in the world of teenage angst and identity crises. And so, I empathize with these people. It does not, however, change the fact that they suck.

It reminds me of a good quote by Bertrand Russell, an excellent philosopher:

"The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good." ---Bertrand Russell

I truly believe this.

Some other good quotes by him related to happiness are:

"I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a savant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite."

AND

"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years."

I think all of these quotes are from his book "The Conquest of Happiness." He has some very interesting works including really great arguments against religion. I think everyone should read his work, regardless of what they believe, because he makes some really good points.

I totally went on a tangent there. The point is, those negative people suck. And in a way, it wasn't a tangent. Because the savant/gardner example relates to the people I'm always around; intellectuals who have bright futures, individuals for whom knowledge is a burden. The next quote just shows that the people to whom this post is dedicated are EXACTLY the ones who are sitting around desiring "the unhappiness of others" instead of their own happiness. See. I'm not random. Hah!

So I realize there's a little bit of irony in this post since I am critizing people for criticizing people.

Gosh! I hate hypocrisy!!!

But seriously, I am not trying to criticize anyone. I'm just saying that what they do to themselves and those around them is just unnatural and unnecessary. I pity them. And they STINK!

Last night I was at a bar and they suddenly played "Bob Sinclair: Love Generation." This song is amazing, and hearing it reminds me of my summer in Lebanon. Whenever this song was played at a bar or club, everyone just went nuts.
Bob Sinclair's other famous song, "World Hold On" is awesome too. The video for this song is really good.

that's all. just wanted to put that out there.

yeah.

The scenic route...

Walking on Connecticut Avenue to the metro station every morning is proving to be a much better alternative to waiting for the bus. It's a nice 15 minute walk.

With my iPOD on I feel like I'm in a movie. I shift my eyes, one shift per beat, and it enhances the whole "in a movie" effect. I'm still getting used to seeing so many people walking on the sidewalks, red brick buildings, and American people (none of which are common in Miami).

In other news: I'm still slacking on my pimping as far as studying is conerned.

WHINING AND DINING....

I don't like to be dramatic or sappy in my blog, just cause life's too good to be complaining. Count your blessings, etc...

But today I just wanted to write that I'm feeling kinda blue (da-ba-di, da-ba-die). I didn't notice I was feeling so blue until I ended my online conversation with

"Well, i'm gonna go cook a lonely dinner-for-one. No salt needed, my tears will do the job"

I laughed when I read it because it just sounds like something that would make me roll my eyes if I heard it from someone else.

I'm getting used to the whole living alone thing, being far away from the people I love. The application process for medical school along with the ridiculous masters program I'm in create a stress level which may exacerbate the negative/sappy feelings.

Enough of that.

By the way, I hate the Washington DC metrobus system.

Ah-ha, hush that fuss...
I'm just gonna forget about taking the bus.


Screw the buses. Really. I hate it. I've got no patience, and I hate waiting (what is it with me and the hip-hop allusions today?). I'm just gonna walk the mile to the metro station and take the metro. AHHHH.

I could use the exercise and fresh air anyways. I did it today with a heavy backpack and I feel great.

And so, in closing, fuck the police.

Oops. I mean fuck the bus.

Smitty in the City...

Well , today has been one of the better ones.

First, I did me some learnin'. Gastrulation of an embryo is quite interesting. Really.

Then, I commenced on my first adventure with public transportation in DC. I took the Georgetown University Shuttle (nice and FREE) to Dupont circle. I was looking around, trying to figure out where to go next, when I ran into a classmate from the SMP, which stands for Special Master's Program. I think the S should stand for STEROIDS. Anyway, my friend walked with me to the metro station and helped me find the bus stop. A very friendly and nice employee at the metro station let me cheat and get a bus transfer, and gave me some important information. I waited at the bus stop for a while, where I read, in utter confusion, the bus schedule. My stop was not listed there, but I assumed that there's no way to list all the stops so I didn't worry too much.

I hopped on the bus and tried to give the bus driver the money. He looked at me as though I was some sort of alien and pointed at the machine that takes the money. I laughed nervously and sat down right behind him. The bus was completely empty. I asked the driver if he stopped where I needed to go. He looked at me like I was an alien with a big sign over my head that said "total retard."

I told him I was new to all this stuff, and he said, "I noticed!" He was very helpful, explaining a lot of important things to me. He told me about some land he has in Sarasota, his three adopted children, life in Washington D.C., and more. His name is "Smitty." I dub him "Smitty in the city." As people got on the bus he greeted them so nicely. A lot of people knew him and said hello to him the way one says hello to someone who really brightens up their day. What a nice dude.

While on the bus, a guy saw me staring at the map. I was trying to learn it. He came up to me and asked me if I needed help finding where I was going.

THEN when I got off the bus, I was a bit disoriented and a woman who had gotten off at the same stop as me noticed this. She asked me if I needed help.

SO, in total, 5 people helped me in my journey from bus stop to apartment today.

Today is one of those days when I really feel connected to the universe. There have been quite a few coincidences lately, and things are falling into place.

And now, it's time to study. According to the suggested study time for my steroids masters program, I should have spent 20 hours studying already. I am about 19 hours behind.

So...you know when you have work to do but you just keep getting online and going on msn messenger and checking your email and calling people on the phone and getting up for a snack and making to do lists and doing everything except for what you are supposed to be doing?

yeah...

I hate that.

It's amazing how two hours fly when you need them and 15 minutes seem like an eternity when you're in class listening to the most boring lecture in the history of lectures.

The image I have included in this blog is one of my favorite paintings by my favorite artist, Salvador Dali. It just reminds me of having too much to do, too little time, being a mess, etc.

Happy birthday... to me

WELL. It's 1:17 am. I am officially 23 years old.

Birthdays... aren't that important, you know? I used to demand to be treated like royalty on the anniversary of my emergence from mom's cave. Now I'm just like meh. I mean, I like being pampered, and I LOVE any excuse to party (ie St. Paddy's day, Cinco de Mayo, and other not so real holidays during which we Americans like to go get plastered).

Point is I am not as crazy about my birthday as I used to be.

This birthday, in particular, is extra sucky because I will be attending my first grueling day of classes. This whole moving out ordeal has been a pain, mainly because finding a decent place to live in DC is like finding a needle in a haystack. A very freakin expensive needle, I might add.

Let me bitch some more about my apartment hunting. Today I was supposed to finalize the rent agreement with a man whose basement I was going to be living in. It's a nice basement, with a kitchenette and a bathroom and a lot of space. Walking distance from school. Close to market and a laundromat and a bunch of other neat stuff.
His wife called today and left a message saying that the girl who was supposed to leave decided to stay. DAMNIT.

SOOOOO I went and checked out one last apartment with my dad, who has been with me through this whole process (thank God for overprotective dads). Fully furnished, one or two buses away from school (only 3 miles, though), very nice. We got the dude to knock off a hundred smackaroos from the rent. I found out a friend of mine lives really close by, also. BAM, after a morning of disappoinment we had an afternoon of bliss. All our troubles seemed so far away....

...until...

I googled the damn place. WHY did I do it? Just to show a friend a picture of my new awesome apartment. Woo hoo. The third search result was something from a website called "apartmentratings.com" with ratings for my future abode. Holy shit. There were all sorts of complaints, including two about poorly sealed windows and bugs getting in. EEEW! Some other complaints were:

-poor management
-bad insulation on the windows (so you freeze your ass of in the winter)
-the radiator spews fluid
-bad maintenance
-thin walls- you can hear what your neighbor is thinking

and more.

There were some positive reviews but overall the place got a 38%. I don't know, but 38% is not so wonderful.

Then I checked out the rents. The guy is charging me LESS than the rent he is paying. WEIRD. Makes me think there's a reason for that. I'm so scared!

NOW... I'm just gonna stick with it if it is a month to month lease. If not, I'm gonna have to ask some serious questions.

Enough ranting for now. I hope my birthday/first day of school is not crap-o-riffic.

Oh yeah, back to my birthday. I must say, being in a relationship with a great person is really sweet, and when you loose that relationship, it's days like your birthday that make you remember nice times. It's not cause of the presents, it's more because you're sharing a special time with someone you love/who loves you. And the presents are always nice too.

Great, now I'm feeling a bit discombobulated. If you ordered a "Marianatini right now, it would be:
One part loneliness,
two parts frustration,
a splash of I'm-getting-old-what-a-waste-of-life-I-am depression.

Don't forget the olives.

No, no, I'm just being melodramatic. I am not depressed, old, or a waste of life. (just a splash, I said). I know better than to be thinking that way. I am a lucky girl with an ed-u-ma-cation and the potential to do whatever I want. Sometimes my mind gets cloudy and I forget that. yada yada yada...

AND SO, I face tomorrow with a smile on my face and my friends in my heart. I wish they could be here to celebrate my super important special holiday that has somewhat lost its luster but not completely as has been made evident to me through writing this blog and concluding it with that "my birthday is important" feeling. Did that sentence make sense? Maybe I should get to bed.

THE CEDARS OF LEBANON...

some pics from Lebanon that I didn't put up...

Neat stuff.

My good pal Lane told me about this toolbar thingie called "Stumble Upon." It's this thing you join and you choose from a bunch of categories that you're interested in and then you download a toolbar for your web browser. The toolbar has a button called "Stumble!" and it will take you to random cool sites which fall into one of the categories you chose.

It's cool. Check it out!

Days 1 and 2 of my latest adventure:

Well, I just went through 2 days of orientation for the graduate program in which I will be participating this year. It is a one-year "Special Masters Program in Physiology and Biophysics" at Georgetown University. It is a program tailored for people who want to go to medical school. A few things I picked up on:

1: This year will be extremely challenging. They told us so. Over and over and over again. Teachers, advisors, and former students made it a point to remind us that this program is ridiculously tought. Approximately 5 hours of studying each day, every day, is "necessary." yuck.

2: This year will be very stressful as far as applying to med school is concerned, mainly because I will be surrounded by 150 other people who are also applying and who will be talking about the schools they got interviews at, etc... double yuck.

3: This year is going to be great.

I'm excited. Really. Despite the fact that I will study more than I have ever studied in my entire life, I'm honestly excited. It's great and energizing to meet 150 new people. I already met some classmates. They seem cool so far. I love meeting new people. I know that many of my classmates will be uptight pricks, but that's life. I need to get used to being around uptight pricks. It's good preparation for medical school, which will surely be chock-full-o-pricks.

The whole studying for a gazillion hours a day thing turns out to be not so bad when my "big sib" (a student who went through this program last year) put it into perspective. He said "see it as a full time job." I used to work full time at the lab. That's 40+ hours a week. School is my new full-time job. I will attend classes for no more than 4 hours each day (only 1 hour on some days). Add up study time and there I'll have something around 40 hours a week. It's my new full-time job. I can deal with that.

Another reason I'm excited is because of my surroundings. The Georgetown campus is sweet. The surrounding area is very nice. If I will have any time to party, I look forward to visiting the bars and pubs in the area. Also, Washington DC itself is very nice. I will visit the museums and monuments at least once. I saw them when I was a little kid, and I remember loving it.

I am nervous because it is my first time living alone. I know it'll be a great experience. My wonderful parents are having major separation anxiety. They insisted that I got a place big enough for them to come stay at frequently. Fine with me! Maybe 2 years ago I would have rolled my eyes at the thought of them interrupting my life. Now I realize I'll miss them a lot and that it would be great for them to visit- particularly my mother, who is a phenomenal cook and who will organize my room out of sheer nervousness. She is allergic to mess.

The house hunting was a pain in my Lebanese posterior, but I think I finally found a place. It is a basement apartment, walking distance from the bus. On a really nice day I can walk to and from school (approximately 30 minutes).

And thus begins my adventure. This year will be littered with rejection letters from medical schools, all-night study sessions, and high-levels of stress and anxiety. On a brighter note I will be super-duper mega prepared for medical school, have some interesting experiences, and meet new people.