I was almost killed last night...

And by "killed" I mean beaten up by a very sassy, very drunk guy (who I confused for a girl at first)

Check it:

So, I'm standing outside of Gazuza @ Dupont Circle, a chic, cheeky shisha bar/lounge. A group of young people passes by, and I am bumped into by a skinny, androgynous individual carrying a skateboard. I turn to look at the offender, who took the time to turn around, give me the dirtiest look, and stare me up and down as though I just said his momma was a two-bit ho. So all I'm thinking is, WTF? I was just standing here and this a-hole totally bumped into me and had the NERVE to stare me down like that. I didn't say anything to this cheeky bastard because I was in shock that he was giving me this attitude. So he turns away and walks and I turn to my friends mutter something along the lines of "Did you what she just did?!? Wow" At that point, I thought the offender was female, because said offender was walking with a bunch of very masculine females, and it is Dupont Circle (ie lots of gender blurring) ANYWAY, about 30 seconds pass and I look over and see the skateboard holding psycho walking toward me yelling "What did you say to me? Bitch! Don't stand there calling me a faggot!!!" It was then that I went from offended to absolutely confused/scared as hell. I don't remember exactly what I said to him/her/it, but it was something along the lines of "I didn't say ANYTHING!" I'm not gonna lie, I was giving him/her/it some attitude. There was some more all-up-in-my face action from him, then he walked away, then turned around and yelled: "BITCH, I GOT A JOB. I'M HIGH CLASS, BITCH!" Now, it was here where the confusion/fear transformed into utter amusement. Ah, the irony. I glanced over, and saw two security guards of some variety nearby, and therein grew some balls. "Yes, honey, I can see that you are SOOOO high class, acting like that. Look at ALLLLLL THAT CLASS!" (include hand gestures and very sarcastic voice).

And then, he charged at me.

I think I pooped in my pants a little.

Luckily, his friend held him back, my friend got in his face, all's well that ends well, no?

Ok, my bad for even bothering answering back or giving attitude. But it really provided for an entertaining 3 minutes of our evening.

Moral of the story: Drunk people act like idiots.