Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Career assessment, Part 4,567

Today I got to do wound care at the VA hospital. Man oh man!

The first case was a nasty leg wound... and the guy was in excruciating pain. I had to leave the room for fear of falling on my face. My face was hot and I was dizzy as all hell. The smell... the oozing pus... blegh. About 5 minutes after I was brave enough to come back, the nurse made me use a culture swab... right on there. On that oozing nastiness. But somehow I made it through that time. I think seeing him suffer was what did me in the first time, and by the time I had returned he had calmed down a bit. Perhaps I was able to do it without feeling queasy because I was focusing on the fact that this nurse was undeniably terrible person for making me do this knowing that I had left earlier because I was not feeling well. I'm glad I did it, because I had felt bad for the patient after I left. I mean, imagine, you go to the clinic to have your awful, debilitating wounds cleaned out and you're in terrible pain, and the girly med student has to excuse herself because she is so disgusted, meanwhile YOU are the one who's suffering! Poor guy!

So, of course, like clockwork, what happened??? That huge, neon, flashing sign showed up in the back of my mind:

wrong career - wrong career - wrong career

I hate that sign. It seems to shine brighter at times like these, when I feel like a total whimp-o.

But hey, at least I'm a student and on loans and no one's expecting me to get a job right now. I'm unemployed and that's okay! Plus when I do finish, I'll have job security. Soooo... even if it's the wrong career, at least it's not one that was a total waste of time to pursue (I hope).

Regardless, this woozy whimpy girl shit has got to stop! *snaps fingers and swivels neck*

I'm supposed to be this strong, intelligent woman who will take care of people one day. Instead, I'm like "eeeewwww pus! OMG It smellllls." I swaer, by the beard of Zeus, next time I'm staying in the room. And if I faint, I faint. But I'll make sure to stand next to someone who looks soft to fall on, like a chubby person. Or maybe I'll sit down or something and allow myself to just pass out in the chair, then maybe no one will notice. And I'll be cured!

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