During my re-entry into the blog world, I realize I wrote a LOT about med school during the first year, and never wrote one thing second year. That's *good* because it sucked.

So here's second year in a nutshell:

You're in class from 8-5 pm on many days.
You are supposed to study every single day (which, of course, I didn't do)
Your extra-curricular activities begin to feel like chores instead of fun stuff.
You being to rot from the inside and out.
You begin to question your decision about med school more frequently and with more "umph"
You tell first year med students that they shouldn't complain, because second year is 4 billion times worse.... (then you go back and read your old blog entries from first year and realize that you complained like crazy).

All joking aside, the second year was pretty awful. I have never seen so many people become depressed, struggle with anxiety and sleep, etc. I mean, we're not at WAR here, we're supposed to be learning. Why should it be torture?

And the crazy thing is, I was one of the people who was able to maintain *some* balance. I didn't care about grades enough to study all the time. I worked out regularly, cooked regularly, spent quality time with those I care about, and traveled (California, scattered locations throughout Florida, Morocco, Dominican Republic). And despite all that wonderfulness in my life, I was still absolutely miserable at times.

Seeing the toll that med school took on my classmates and myself makes me wonder what they're doing wrong. I am not just a negative bitch. There is something inherently wrong with this system.

Daily reflection... an attempt at a concise blog entry.

A toast:
To great communication between two people who have decided to spend a lot of time together.

A grievance:
About people who go to the library and are obnoxiously loud while you're trying to study for the most important exam of your life.

Some gratitude:
For my attitude, which allows me to convey a million words with just one stare... directed at those loud assholes at aforementioned library.

Honorable mention:
To those friends who let you know it's about time to take a shower.

When one of my classmates posted a link to his blog on facebook... it brought me back to the good old days of blogging it up. Oh the catharsis.

Perhaps I'll start up again once third year rotations begin (for those non-medically immersed, that means I'll be out of the classroom and in the CLINIC and HOSPITAL and interacting with REAL PATIENTS!)

But, since the last time I blogged until now, the only thoughts I care to write down is HOLY SHIT SECOND YEAR OF MED SCHOOL SUCKS.

And, as I prepare for the USMLE Step 1 exam, I'm realizing what I have (and have not) learned in the past two years. Preparing for this exam is a daily adventure, wherein I spend 8-12 hours a day studying, with some breaks to use the restroom, waste time on facebook, nap, and acknowledge that nagging voice asking me why the hell I came to med school when I damn well know how much I dislike the following: studying, blood & guts, annoying people, and being trapped in a bullshit system where you really have very little control over the next 7-15 years of your life. I do love people, and helping people, and science is kinda neat. And I've met some amazing people in the last 2 years.

Ok back to the grind. *Yay* med school...

*sobs*