Change is scary...

I am in a state of anxiety and stress. I am leaving home for the first time ever, to take on a (supposedly) tough masters program at Georgetown University for one year. I feel overwhelmed with all of the packing, finding a place, etc not to mention with the thought of not seeing friends and family for a while. ARGH. Things will be okay, I know.

My bestest best friends threw me a surprise going away party on Friday. It was grand.

I can't think of much to write. This blog has been lacking in content lately, but there is no time or inspiration.

Thanks to Aldo for all of the moral support.

Although I am not muy religiosa, I think this prayer is great and wanted to share it. Almost everyone knows it, but, I don't think most people really pay attention to the words.

GOD grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

There are days when I really really need to keep this in mind, particularly the serenity part. It is hard to remember that there are things we CANNOT CHANGE!!!

Will there ever be peace in the Middle East?

Lebanon, my beautiful country, the country I fell in love with this summer, is a scary place right now. The entire country is being punished because of the actions of one group of people. Just when Lebanon was getting back on its feet after years of war, this happens.

I don't have much more to say right now and there is not much that I can do besides hope that this will end soon. I can't help but think about my family and friends in Lebanon, their fear, their suffering.

This stinks.

You know when you drink a lot and you feel like you need to yak and you keep passing out and then waking up from nausea but you don't yak you just feel crappy then you pass out again and then wake up again and your heart is pounding and you feel like shit?

I hate that!

And now for some comedy:

Disclaimer: I am in no way homophobic. I am all about gay rights!!! I just thought these were clever/funny.

1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? ..
A licker cabinet.

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? ....
A Klondyke.

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? ..
Militia Etheridge.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? .
Fur Traders.

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? ....
A Lickalotapuss.

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? .
Well Hung.

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?
She was found face down in Ricki Lake.

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? .....
Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

10. What do you call lesbian twins? ....
Lick-a-likes.

11. What's the definition of confusion? .
Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.

MY WAY...

Right now, I am in a phase of my life riddled with uncertainty. I have some lofty and unconventional goals, and I am unsure about a lot of things. I have spent a lot of time dissipating the fear and anxiety through some rational thinking and the advice of others. I can now say I look to the future with nothing but confidence and excitement.

My father, one very good role model, enjoys singing obnoxiously. One of his favorite songs is "My Way," by Frank Sinatra, because the lyrics are so true to his own life. I hope- correction, I KNOW- I will sing this song and mean it one day.

"And now, the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
I've lived, a life that's full, I've traveled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
I did, what I had to do, and saw it through, without exemption.
I planned, each charted course, each careful step, along the byway,
and more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off, more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up, and spit it out.
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
and did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing.
To think, I did all that, and may I say --- not in a shy way,
"Oh no, oh no not me,
I did it my way".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things, he truly feels,
And not the words, of one who kneels.
The record shows, I took the blows ---
And did it my way!

I can just hear Frank Sinatra's voice booming in my head...

Another cluster of words which inspires me is Robert Frost's famous poem "The Road Not Taken" :

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Normally, I am not a big fan of poetry (I usually don't understand it) but this poem's message is important to me.

And so, I'll listen to my friends, Frank and Robert. I'll do it my way and take the road less traveled. There will be some shitty times but hey, it wouldn't be life without shitty times, right?