Change is scary...

I am in a state of anxiety and stress. I am leaving home for the first time ever, to take on a (supposedly) tough masters program at Georgetown University for one year. I feel overwhelmed with all of the packing, finding a place, etc not to mention with the thought of not seeing friends and family for a while. ARGH. Things will be okay, I know.

My bestest best friends threw me a surprise going away party on Friday. It was grand.

I can't think of much to write. This blog has been lacking in content lately, but there is no time or inspiration.

Thanks to Aldo for all of the moral support.

Although I am not muy religiosa, I think this prayer is great and wanted to share it. Almost everyone knows it, but, I don't think most people really pay attention to the words.

GOD grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

There are days when I really really need to keep this in mind, particularly the serenity part. It is hard to remember that there are things we CANNOT CHANGE!!!

Will there ever be peace in the Middle East?

Lebanon, my beautiful country, the country I fell in love with this summer, is a scary place right now. The entire country is being punished because of the actions of one group of people. Just when Lebanon was getting back on its feet after years of war, this happens.

I don't have much more to say right now and there is not much that I can do besides hope that this will end soon. I can't help but think about my family and friends in Lebanon, their fear, their suffering.

This stinks.

You know when you drink a lot and you feel like you need to yak and you keep passing out and then waking up from nausea but you don't yak you just feel crappy then you pass out again and then wake up again and your heart is pounding and you feel like shit?

I hate that!

And now for some comedy:

Disclaimer: I am in no way homophobic. I am all about gay rights!!! I just thought these were clever/funny.

1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? ..
A licker cabinet.

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? ....
A Klondyke.

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? ..
Militia Etheridge.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? .
Fur Traders.

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? ....
A Lickalotapuss.

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? .
Well Hung.

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?
She was found face down in Ricki Lake.

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? .....
Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

10. What do you call lesbian twins? ....
Lick-a-likes.

11. What's the definition of confusion? .
Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.

MY WAY...

Right now, I am in a phase of my life riddled with uncertainty. I have some lofty and unconventional goals, and I am unsure about a lot of things. I have spent a lot of time dissipating the fear and anxiety through some rational thinking and the advice of others. I can now say I look to the future with nothing but confidence and excitement.

My father, one very good role model, enjoys singing obnoxiously. One of his favorite songs is "My Way," by Frank Sinatra, because the lyrics are so true to his own life. I hope- correction, I KNOW- I will sing this song and mean it one day.

"And now, the end is near, and so I face, the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
I've lived, a life that's full, I've traveled each and every highway.
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
I did, what I had to do, and saw it through, without exemption.
I planned, each charted course, each careful step, along the byway,
and more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off, more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up, and spit it out.
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
and did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried,
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing.
To think, I did all that, and may I say --- not in a shy way,
"Oh no, oh no not me,
I did it my way".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things, he truly feels,
And not the words, of one who kneels.
The record shows, I took the blows ---
And did it my way!

I can just hear Frank Sinatra's voice booming in my head...

Another cluster of words which inspires me is Robert Frost's famous poem "The Road Not Taken" :

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Normally, I am not a big fan of poetry (I usually don't understand it) but this poem's message is important to me.

And so, I'll listen to my friends, Frank and Robert. I'll do it my way and take the road less traveled. There will be some shitty times but hey, it wouldn't be life without shitty times, right?

Two Good Quotes:

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"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Gandhi

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Lebanon - just some pictures

Downtown Beirut - Brand new and very nice


St. Sharbel Church & Monastery in the Mountains


Five of my cousins, my two bros, and me


Baalbeck - ancient Roman Architecture (super amazing!)

The Dirty Martini...

This is a tribute to my favorite alcoholic drink, the Delightful Dirty Martini.

The Original Martini is, by nature, a cool drink. "Sour Appletinis" and other ones tailored to people who don't like the taste of alcohol are a travesty, and lose several cool points, especially if a dude is drinking one. Could you imagine James Bond, sitting at a restautant, asking for an "Appletini...shaken not stirred," and being handed an artificially flavored, artifically colored, fluorescent green drink?!?! His manly sex appeal...down the drain.

I will admit, every once in a while I fall victim to the delicious Chocolate Martini. This drink is packed with guilty pleasure, but some places make it so sweet your teeth hurt.

A straight up martini, as mister Bond would order, is a great drink too, only surpassed its wondrful dirty counterpart. The original also comes with an olive or two. A note for all of the olive haters in the world: you can opt for a slice of lemon instead of the usual olive it comes with.

There are many variations on this drink, but the my preferred recipe (variable measurements) is:

1: a lot of Vodka (preferably not something out of a plastic bottle),
2: a splash of vermouth,
3: enough olive juice to make the drink look cloudy like Mexican water (hence the name, "dirty"),
4: Three, yes three, sexy olives, preferably the big ones with pimentos inside.

And that makes one Dirty Martini- Mariana style. Two or three of those puppies and I'm smiling like a fool.

The olive juice and vermouth cut the alcohol taste, and the drink is at its best when made with a sexy vodka such as Belvedere or Grey Goose. Kettle One isn't bad either.

The drink is classy but sassy. It tastes oh-so-good. Not that many people like olives, so I don't have to worry about them taking sips from my fabulous drink. I freaking love it. (Can you tell?)

Here in wonderful Lebanon, I made the mistake of ordering a dirty martini at a restaurant. I specified vodka (not gin) and I asked the waiter if he knew how to make it. "Yes yes, don't worry." Well, I should have worried. The drink was an absolute DISASTER! First of all, it came in a whiskey glass. I normally wouldn't care, as the shape of the glass does not matter to me if the contents are good. But wait, there's more! The drink was something like: a lot of vermouth, some vodka, and a there was a LEMON slice floating around in there. NO OLIVES, NO OLIVE JUICE. Vermouth, is a sweet white wine, and it's downright nasty. I felt like purchasing a bartending guide and beaming it at the head of whoever created the disgusting concoction. Lesson learned. This country is WAY behind on mixed drinks, and the men are too proud to admit that they have no idea what they are doing (typical!) So, to all of you fellow drinkers, if, for some crazy reason, you're ever at a restaurant in Lebanon, stick to beer or whiskey.

Anyway, my inability to get a dirty martini in this country gave me the inspiration to praise the drink in my new blog. I would provide a picture, but, like the mixed drinks, the internet here sucks.

ALL HAIL THE DIRTY MARTINI, WHICH, IN ALL ITS GLORY, BRINGS FIRE TO THE BELLY OF THE BEAST (me), AND ALCOHOL TO ITS BLOOD.

I have decided to create a blog for myself. I figure, hey, I always have a lot to say, and this looks like fun. Generally I write to vent or express myself, hence the title. I couldn't think of anything catchy but once I do I will probably change it. That's me, always changing my mind.
By the way, thanks Aldino for giving me a blog to read.
I am in Beirut, Lebanon. I have been here since May 26, and I will leave on July 4. This country is modern, a non third world country with some third world characteristics. The internet is sssllloooowww, however, and my attempts to put up pictures have failed thus far. I will try again at an internet cafe.
More about Lebanon. Everyone speaks French here, and it's kind of annoying. The weather is not bad, it's California-ish. The food is great. Stuffed grape leaves and kibbe and hummus and pita bread all the time. The people are nice, and you can count on most people speaking some English. I am brushing up on my Arabic. I understand it well but don't speak too well.
I will talk more about my temporary home on a later date, when I can post some pictures as well.